Mobile Slt Gundam Wing
by Friezaess
Summary: What happens when an author who isn't partieled to yaoi attempts to write a YAOI LEMON? This involves some of the freakiest pairings you'll ever see!


**MOBILE SLUT GUNDAM WING**

Disclaimer: If I owned Gundam Wing, there would be a lot more fan-service from the G-boys, believe me! ^_~

AN: Stuff in italics are the stories, stuff in * is actions. Get it? Got it? Good! ^_^

_~*~_

Friezaess: *boots up her computer and gets into Microsoft Word*

Duo: Watcha doin'?

Friezaess: Writing.

Quatre: Oh, so you're finally doing that English assignment! It's about time!

Friezaess: Are you kidding?! I'm writing a fan-fic!

G-boys: *shudder*

Heero: Well, we might as well know what we're getting ourselves into. What's this thing about?

Friezaess: *opening up a blank document* Well, the other day I mentioned yaoi to someone, and how I'm not into any of that stuff. Then they bet me that I couldn't write a yaoi fic.

Trowa: Oh shit. I know where THIS is going.

Friezaess: Yep, that's right! I, Friezaess, a girl who is put off by yaoi and rarely reads stuff with x's in it, am writing a yaoi fan-fiction! A LEMON yaoi fan-fiction! Take THAT person-who-said-I-couldn't-write-a-yaoi-fic!

G-boys: *fall over anime-style*

Friezaess: *whispers to the audience* I should probably mention that I'm not fond of ANY pairings in GW, and the only ones I'll recognise are the OZ ones- 6x9 and 13xUne ^_^ Hey, that's just my opinion. *dodges rotten tomatoes*

Wufei: Well, what kind of unjust things do you intend to write?

Friezaess: *thinks for a while* Hmm what pairing, what pairing ah! I know!

G-boys: *cringe*

Friezaess: *starts typing*

__

_They stood in front of each other in the bedroom, clothes tossed carelessly to one side, looking over each other's naked bodies._

_"So I'm gonna be the uke, huh?" Quinze asked._

G-boys: O_O

_"Yep," Dekim replied._

G-boys: *make gagging noises*

_"Well, be careful what you do, I've got a bad hip," the White Fang official said, climbing under the sheets of the bed. Dekim carefully manoeuvred his member (which was somewhat shrivelled, but that's okay, because wrinkles add to stimulation-_

Heero: STOP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, STOP THE FIC!!!

*Quatre is cowering in a corner and sucking his thumb, whilst Duo is making retching noises from the toilet and Wufei and Trowa are trying desperately to erase what has just happened from their minds*

Friezaess: *giggling, though feeling a little nauseated herself*

Duo: *returning from the toilet* What the hell are you thinking?! That's just gross!

Friezaess: Well, it's original! I've never seen a 10x15 fic on ff.net!

Trowa: Would you really WANT to?

Friezaess: Well no, but-

Trowa: Stop. Writing. Now.

Friezaess: Oh fine. But I'm still gunna do a yaoi lemon!

*Quatre breaks down completely and starts bawling*

Friezaess: Okay, we'll make it a 4x *thinks* a 4xD!

*Quatre has passed out completely as of the words 4x'*

Wufei: Onna, that's het, not yaoi!

Friezaess: *starts typing*

__

_Quatre put his hand under Dorothy's slinky little nightie, running it up her inner thigh. She grinned as he reached the area between her legs, only to find_

_"Uh, Dorothy?"_

_"Yes, my little Kum-Quat?"_

_"How come you've got an erection?"_

*muffled laughter from Duo*

_"Well, Quatre," the lusty girl' replied, "the truth is I'M REALLY A MAN!"_

*more laughter from Duo*

_"Oh, okay," Quatre said, thinking the situation over. "Looks like we'll have to do this doggy-style-_

*Friezaess is distracted from her writing by the frantic screams coming from Quatre, who has by now regained consciousness*

Quatre: Make her stop, make her stop!!! AHHHHHHHH!!! *runs out of the room screaming*

Duo: *is rolling on the floor laughing* Oh man, I wish I could've gotten his reaction on video!

Wufei: Maxwell! Onna! Both of you, stop this insanity! Have you no honour?!

Duo: Oh, hey Friezaess! Do a *whispers something in her ear. The other G-boys lean in closer in an attempt to hear what he is saying, but can't hear.* So, what do you think?

Friezaess: I think you're mind's almost as warped as mine, my dear Shinigami!

*panicked looks from the G-boys*

Friezaess: *starts typing*

__

_Wufei_

Wufei: Injustice!

_was about to close up the hanger where he kept Altron when suddenly, the Gundam's eyes lit up. _

_"Where do you think you're going?" It asked, it's voice raspy yet alluring._

Wufei: INJUSTICE!

_Wufei approached the Gundam, eyes filled with the fiery passion that could only be described as longing. _

_"Why, nowhere at all, Nataku," he replied, beginning to take of his clothes._

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!!!

_"I've been a bad, bad Gundam, Chang. Why don't you bring me to justice?" The huge mech giggled, pulling out some oil to use as lubrica-_

Wufei: **INJUSTICE!!!!!!!!**

Friezaess: Aw, you no likey, Fei-kun? ^_^

Wufei: Onna! Don't call me that! And never, EVER write that kind of fan-fic again!

Duo: *is laughing harder than he did at the Quatre fic* Aw, c'mon Wufei! You were gonna be the seme, too! *laughs*

Wufei: *sigh* I've said it before, and I'll say it again. INJUSTICE!!!

Friezaess: Okay, okay, I'm just gonna try it one more time and then that's it, alright?

*sneers and groans from the g-boys*

Friezaess: Alright, here we go *starts typing*

__

_Duo sat on his bed, braid in hand, and looped it around his-_

Duo: *immediately stops laughing* What what WHAT?!!!

_organ, rubbing it up and down against it. The bristles of his hair felt good against the sensitive skin of his lower regions, his member becoming hard and hot at the sensation._

Wufei: Hah! You can dish it out but you can't take it, huh Maxwell?

Duo: This isn't fair! Stop the fic, I wanna get off!

Trowa and Heero: *remain silent, though a little sparkle of amusement is detectable in their eyes*

_It was then that, for some totally unexpected and unexplainable reason, the entire male cast of Gundam Wing' walked into the Shinigami's bedroom, including the pilots._

Wufei, Trowa and Heero: *immediately become fearful*

_"What's that you're doing, Duo?" General Septum asked seductively._

_"Why, I'm fucking my braid, sir," came the seductive reply._

_"Mind if we join you?" Wufei said, undoing his own hairband and sitting next to Duo._

_"Sure! There's plenty to go round!" He replied, his body tingling with excitement. _

*Duo and Wufei assume the foetal position*

_"Can I join in too?" Treize asked, now a rotting zombie with pieces of flesh hanging off him._

_"Why not," Duo said, as he began to come, "just make sure your penis doesn't fall off inside of me." _

*CRASH! BANG! RANDOM LOUD NOISES!*

Friezaess: *is yet again distracted from her typing* What the? Hey, I"m just about to write Heero and Tro into this thing!

Quatre: MWAHAHAHAHA!!! 

Heero: Oh shit! He's in the Wing Zero! *pause* Actually, that mightn't be such a bad thing.

Quatre: *stomping/shooting stuff, whilst riding a high achieved by the one and only ZERO system* So, write twisted fics about me, will you? I'll blow you all to kingdom come! Bwahaha! Mwahaha! Heeheehee! Hahahaha! Hohoho (merry Christmas)! *blows up Friezaess's computer*

Trowa: Nice shot.

Duo: Woohoo, yeah!

Wufei: Justice is served.

Heero: It's about time.

Friezaess: *lower lip trembles* My my computer ;_; SPEAK TO ME, FLUFFY!

Fluffy (computer's name): *bzz* *fizz* *crackle* 

Friezaess: *screams in anguish and runs away*

Quatre: *cackles and goes off to blow up some colonies*

Heero: *sigh* Well, I'm glad that's over with.

Duo: Same here, pal.

Trowa: good stuff.

*the pilots all relax*

Duo: Man, can you imagine how people'd look at us if that kinda stuff was posted on fan-fiction.net?

Elsewhere

*Friezaess sits at a public computer with a floppy disk posting Mobile Slut Gundam Wing' on ff.net*

Friezaess: Always remember to back up your stuff, kids! *evil grin*

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**OWARI**

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Please review!

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